Saturday, December 31, 2011
Breach of Contract! PA Man Allegedly Calls 911 After Hoes Hired to Double Up on Him Instead Go at Each Other & Keep Him Relegated to the "Sideline"...
[Menage a Trois Week continues on TIR...]
I really don't know the sadder situation here: (1) A couple of hookers allegedly taking all this old codger's dough after doing nothing to which he says they agreed; or (2) This old coffin-dodger actually thinking his best recourse would be to call the cops after these broads' alleged nefarious "breach of contract." I'm guessing a lawsuit filed down in the ol' circuit court can't be too far behind from this furry old timer...
63-year-old Jerry Streng (pictured above) of Berlin, Pennsylvania told cops it all started when he simply tried to hire a couple of whores for 400 bucks "for the purpose of 'Smoking his Smoke' and engaging in sexual intercourse" with him (link to Smoking Gun's full story at bottom).
But like most any alleged personal services "contract," Streng says he had some very specific notions as to precisely what was to go down (in more ways than one) in this little menage a trois for hire. Streng says his very specific "agreement" with the two harlots would've placed him "in the middle of both women while the three of them engaged in sexual activity with each other."
However, Streng claims the tart tandem only delivered the goods on half the equation, being only too willing to "Smoke His Smoke," but not so much it seems when it came to including him in three-way, Lawrence-inspired, doublin'-down sexcapades back in the bedroom.
Streng complained to cops that the dirty duo did not even "invite him into the bed," instead climbing under the sheets and getting it on with each other. What's worse, he says, is that when he did try to enter this freaky fray, the two street walkers stuck his old ass on the "sideline" and wouldn't let him "in the middle like they agreed to" -- like something out of a bad knockoff of the old film The Sex Monster.
"Relegated to the end" of the bed rather than his "desired middle slot," Streng lamented to cops that he was left to resort "to grope the breast of the female closest to him." And the truly sad part, he says, is that "after that fleeting fondle," these two contract-welching women of the street (allegedly) grabbed all his money and ran -- all without ever "fully servicing him." Talk about a couple 'a stone cold cocottes!
And of course, whether it be a prostitution deal gone bad, or any other rudimentary breach of contract for that matter, the best course of actions is always -- what else: Call 911, Baby! That's right, Streng got the cops over there almost as fast as those two tricky trollops hit the exits once his money was in hand (allegedly).
So alas we arrive at the moral of this rather pathetic story: An agreement to bone a babe for money has an illegal subject matter at its core! That makes it an illegal, unenforceable contract. It also means you can't sue on it, and the cops can't do a damn a thing for you except to slap your dumb ass with solicitation charges and toss ya right in the hoosegow...
Which is precisely what happened to this old battle axe Streng. Although something tells me that Streng figures it was all worth it, since another consequence of his rattin' out these two ladies of pleasure means they also got their trio triumvirate-feigning skanky asses (allegedly) thrown right in the can themselves. That'll teach them to smoke a man's smoke without as so much as taking one puff on his pipe.